the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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