He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
