Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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