just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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