I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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