he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
