He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
