I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
