1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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