no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
