I can tuck mytits in my pants
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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