My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize