how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
