haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
