They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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