We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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