i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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