do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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