kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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