New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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