they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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