Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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