nut hugger
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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