One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So much rum. So many feels.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
