Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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