he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
