I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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