She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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