One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
