the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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