i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize