He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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