I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
