Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
My nipple is on Facebook.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
