I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
