We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
it hurts more in the daytime
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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