I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize