$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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