I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
