Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
