It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just saw a hot homeless man
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
