***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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