I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize