I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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