"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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