Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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