everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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