Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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