I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
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It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
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Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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