thus making me awesome and them whores
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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