shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
