I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i was born a porn star she said
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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