I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
