I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
well I can't set my house on fire every night
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
