i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize