You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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