Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
