i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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