i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
