a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
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