I hate your face
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
