so let's talk penis.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
